Bowenian Family Therapy: History and Effectiveness
“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way” Leo Tolstoy
Families play a critical role in shaping a nation’s progress and yet there are so many families that are highly dysfunctional. Between members there exists resentment, jealousy, and malice, which over time gets deeply rooted in the psyche of individual members. Failing to communicate, the family simply drifts further apart.
Could this have been avoided? Certainly, had there been open channels of communication, mutual respect for each other and the choices they made, along with a well-integrated mechanism for intervention and conflict resolution. That’s fairly simple!
Then each member would have felt loved and accepted and the family would have grown in a happy (if slightly chaotic) environment. When they are not bothered by internal conflicts, when they are not alienated or estranged, families have a sense of purpose, and are happier even when the odds are stacked against them.
The need for Family Therapy
But often unknowingly, what families pass down for generations are some negative traits. The biggest negative trait is the failure to communicate. That becomes the biggest source of conflict.
Inter-generational family traits that get passed from generation to generation are like genetics. A dominant gene passes down the risk of diabetes or obesity for generations. Unless of course one takes preventive steps such as controlling the diet and exercising regularly. In a similar manner, one could navigate around negative inter-generational traits that are the source of internal conflicts and estrangement. Instead of allowing conflicts to snowball into a larger concern, a family therapy is the ideal preventive measure that helps nip all things “bad” in the bud.
Who can participate in a family therapy:
A family therapy is centered around family. It takes into account all members of the family, be it the children or the parents and grandparents. It is also ideal for understanding foster families and children who have been adopted.
Once we understand the peculiarities and idiosyncrasies of each generation, it will be easier to forge stronger bonds. Because grandparents might have a different set of values that the Gen X or millennial crowd might find hard to understand. That does not mean that they cannot be friends. Look at Sheldon and Meemaw, the best of friends despite the gap of a generation. All made possible because Sheldon and Meemaw loved and respected each other despite the very obvious differences.
Once there is open communication, honesty, and respect, it becomes easier to understand the other despite the conflict because by then all would have formulated a way to get around them – for resolving them.
Bowen’s Family Therapy
While there could be families where such an inbuilt mechanism for conflict resolution could exist, most would require help from an outsider who is trained in the varied means and forms of therapy.
One such therapy that addresses the issues within families is Bowen Family Therapy, Developed by the renowned psychiatrist Murray Bowen, the therapy provides a unique and novel insight into the ways families function. According to Bowen, families are notable for passing patterns that have been in existence for generations. For example, a son who watches his father abusing his mother grows up believing that is the way men are supposed to behave.
A girl likewise living in such an environment could grow up hating her mother for her docility and develops an aggressive personality to prevent the repetition of the same story. These kinds of patterns persist in families through generations, unless the chain is broken with suitable therapy. and problematic behaviors can be passed down and create similar conflicts.
The idea behind Bowen’s approach to conflict resolution
There are three key features in Bowen’s approach. The first being to open the channels of communication. Secondly, to understand the negative traits or toxic patterns that cause conflict and resentment. And lastly via therapy highlight where one could be going wrong. This is essential for ensuring the unique worth of every individual is recognized. It also helps draw the boundaries which is essential in the inter-generational conflict between parents and gen-x children. The key issues that the therapy is helpful in dealing with are as stated earlier inter- generational issues, couples issues, foster parenting, etc.
Hence, in case you and your family members have been experiencing a lot of stress lately, you could opt for Family Therapy. It is also ideal for couples as it helps them identify their differences while highlighting the importance of compassion and empathy. It also helps couples voice their opinions in a more carefree manner. As a result of Bowenian family therapy, couples understand themselves and their partners better ( they could also understand the partner’s parents better in terms of expectations and desires).
Another primary use case of Bowen’s therapy is in child protection programs when the child who has probably been living under foster care is unified with their biological parents. It helps eliminate the sense of resentment and creates an atmosphere where fruitful communication can occur.
Is Bowen’s Family Therapy effective?
Though Bowen’s Family Therapy is helpful, a more impactful therapy is online therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy. This is a structured therapy that is driven by goals and purpose. It is open ended and yet the purpose is similar for all individuals and families – self realization. CBT therapy or DBT therapy not only helps in the management of a range of mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, and mood disorders but also in resolution of inner family conflicts.
If you have been experiencing any of the above mentioned conditions along with issues of insomnia or chronic pain, you can either connect with a reputed center providing online therapy or you could simply google cbt therapy near me. A mental health professional helps you take a close look at your thoughts and emotions. You’ll come to understand how your thoughts affect your actions. Through CBT, you can unlearn negative thoughts and behaviors and learn to adopt healthier thinking patterns and habits.
