Dealing with a Psychopath: Couples Counseling Can Help

“the eyes of Cathy had no message, no communication… they were not human eyes”.

The ultimate psychopath in friction was Cathy Trask, wife of Adam and mother to Caleb and Aron. Not much was known about her past, when Adam first met her, except that she was exceptionally beautiful, delicate, and fragile. Her childlike voice made Adam feel as if he was the protector of a gullible, innocent, woman; but had he looked past her eyes and deep into her soul and past, he would have realized that her eyes lacked soul, they were the eyes of a fiend, and she had a scary past history, having bumped off both her parents.

It was only when things stopped being the way she wanted it to be and Cathy felt trapped in marriage to Adam that she decided to put an end to everything. She  shot Adam in the shoulder, and left her twin sons unattended and motherless, without an iota of remorse. She did not feel penitent. The sudden dramatic turn of events so damaged Adam that he went into a depression. He thought he had been dealing with a grazelle, injured and hurt, but it turned out she was a snake all along whiling her time so that she could strike.

There were no mobiles and online dating apps during the time the novel “ East of Eden” was written by one of America’s foremost authors. The question is why didn’t Adam pay attention and conduct a thorough check on her antecedents? Probably, it was because he was so charmed by her, that the thought itself would have felt repugnant…

And that is the problem of being in love or in a relationship with a psychopath. It better be late than sorry, so we have put together some of the red flags related to psychopathic behavior.

Never ignore the red flags!

While Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling can certainly help you understand your partner better, it is better not to have your heart broken by an abusive and psychopathic partner. 

So we recommend that you pay more attention to the red flags and the small signs. It is always better to leave when there is still time instead of ruminating where you went wrong when things take a turn for the worse – as it surely will when you are in a relationship with a psychopath. 

We have identified here some of the red flags or the warning signs. But sometimes even this might not be enough, psychopaths are extremely extremely clever at shrouding their true nature. They may gauge your mind, even before you are aware. So be careful and listen to your inner voice ( however feeble that might be). 

1 Extremely controlling: 

While in relationships there is always one who is in the driver’s seat while the other is happy being led, a psychopathic personality goes beyond and starts controlling you in ways unimaginable. They will deny you even the basic joys, they will create a wedge between you and your family, they will control all aspects of your life even before you know it, because they firmly believe in turning an individual into a puppet. 

2 Lacking empathy: 

While in this busy modern world it is difficult to spare time for others, most people are sensitive to the needs of others. They would apologize if they tripped a waiter, or passerby. They would not pinch a child or grimace when a baby cries. In America, we have a word that sums up people who lack a sense of empathy and that is – Karen. 

There are Karens everywhere, you can run up against them in the store, or in the subway, or even in the busiest restaurants in New York. They are kind who would not pay a tip, will argue needlessly, spoil a party with their tantrums, without even feeling a pinch of repentance. So if you happen to date such a Karen, or male version of a Karen, be sure to run out of the relationship as soon as possible because even a couple’s therapy cannot help you out.         

3 Gaslighting – shifting blame:

People with psychopathic traits are quick to shift the blame on others. They are never wrong. Also, they resort to means like gaslighting, which makes the others feel guilty for the wrongs that they might not have done.

4 Supremely confident bordering arrogance 

A psychopathic personality type is supremely confident about their abilities to be in charge always. Extreme confidence, lack of inhibition, and illusions of grandeur is another sign of a psychopathic personality. 

If you have been unfortunate enough to fall in love or have a relationship with a psychopath. If there is a colleague with such traits, then a couples therapy can be helpful for you to understand how you have been gaslighted and also find ways and means to deal with such types. Also, if you are depressed or have lost confidence because you have been consistently under attack, you can find help from marriage therapy. You can always google the sites that are closest to you. 

5 Lacking a conscience:

 Let’s be straightforward about this aspect of a psychopath’s personality. They lack a conscience. It is simply not in character to display any remorse about the wrongs that they might have done. They only feel awful if they are caught and then they have a host of excuses for their behavior. They are a bit like Jodie Comer in Killing Eve finding fun in things that cause hurt to others. 

6 Spreading falsehoods: 

Along with toxic behavior, psychopaths tell a great deal of lies to support their case. Sometimes, without purpose they weave false narratives. Whether it is at work or in a relationship such kind of behavior can ruin lives.      

7 It is in the eyes: 

Lastly as we stated early on. It is all in the eyes. As we stated earlier,  a psychopath has eyes that lack empathy. Their eyes might be bright but it is kindled with self importance and smugness, with no shred of sympathy or empathy for others. So, if you are lacking confidence and feel lost in a relationship, use google to check out the nearest couples therapy near me or the nearest marriage counseling near me to understand the true nature of the relationship. A therapist and couples counseling can do a lot more than help you through your relationship setbacks.